Get Atomic Attraction (Kindle/Paperback/Audiobook): In all relationships, men and women have assigned gender roles. These gender roles are not assigned by society or culture, they’re assigned by nature. If a woman believes she must take the lead in the relationship, she’s being forced to act in a way that runs contrary to her nature.
The same applies to men who seek commitment and focus on the relationship—they, too, are behaving in a way that runs contrary to their nature. The relationship-focused man kills attraction because his behavior is feminine. And as research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explains: men who are too caring and relationship focused are rated less attractive by women.
Highly responsive men believe that if they talk about their feelings, they’ll be able to form a strong connection with a woman and get her to fall in love with them. They believe that affirmations of love will make the woman feel more secure in the relationship.
In reality, anytime you’re too responsive, putting relationships at the forefront of your life, you risk killing attraction. Responsiveness, as measured by researchers, encompasses a series of traits that includes being nurturing, kind, supportive, and emotionally available. Surprisingly, and somewhat counter-intuitively, these responsive traits have been found to kill attraction and turn women off.
When a woman thinks you’re overly focused on the relationship and emotionally affected by everything she does, she’ll naturally start to question your masculinity. The woman’s natural instinct is to then pull away and study your behavior from a distance.
Take the following situations as an example: (1) A woman has sex with a man without expressing any emotion or feeling for him and the man gets upset; (2) A woman can’t see her boyfriend on Valentine’s day and the man responds by throwing a tantrum; (3) The man confuses feelings of lust for love and tells his girlfriend that he’s falling in love with her on the third date.
In all three situations, the man is overly focused on the relationship. To protect yourself from situations like this, you must take the focus off the relationship. Women are relationship focused; men are mission focused. The moment you subvert this natural dynamic is the moment you kill attraction by focusing on the woman when you should be focusing on yourself instead.
If you want to maintain attraction with a woman, right from the moment you first meet her all the way through to a long-term relationship, then I highly recommend you get a copy of my book Atomic Attraction.
Check out the Get Her Back (Action Plan) for the best way to get your girlfriend back if she's pulled away from you or left you.
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